I was going to post about Dick's Cabaret legend, David Hernandez, claiming to work at a "pizza bistro", but my man hood is probably already questionable due to the mere fact that I'm subjecting myself to American Idol. Also it's probably already been discussed at length on other sites .
Here's an amusing exceprt:
David Hernandez finally makes the night interesting by claiming that he used to work at a pizza bistro. OK, kids, "pizza bistro" is the new code word for strip club. Apparently, David attends the Carly Smithson school of lying, where if you say something, it automatically becomes true no matter how silly it sounds. So when David was working at the "pizza bistro", men would stuff ones and fives into his "pizza pocket" for "an extra slice." David would happily oblige, because after all, any good "pizza bistro" knows that the happy and "hungry" clientele always come back. This mysterious "pizza bistro" was not shown in David's interview package though. Why is this? We saw Ramiele pouring soy sauce. We saw Brooke being a nanny. We saw Carly pouring beer. In fact, the other 11 contestants all had cute video of them going to school, working, and doing other things. Maybe "pizza bistros" do not allow cameras inside their facilities. You know... so the "secret recipe" doesn't get out. David is also proud to be from the same city as Jorbacca Sparks, and when he sings "She was just seventeen" as the first line in "I Saw Her Standing There," I had horrible flashbacks to last season. David performs terribly awful in a campy way, but it's not fun campy like Danny Noriega. It's lame campy like a closeted gay stripper. Even Paula couldn't compliment his performance, saying he overdid it. Simon calls it "corny verging on desperate." Maybe the "pizza bistro" man used "too much cheese."
Here's an amusing exceprt:
David Hernandez finally makes the night interesting by claiming that he used to work at a pizza bistro. OK, kids, "pizza bistro" is the new code word for strip club. Apparently, David attends the Carly Smithson school of lying, where if you say something, it automatically becomes true no matter how silly it sounds. So when David was working at the "pizza bistro", men would stuff ones and fives into his "pizza pocket" for "an extra slice." David would happily oblige, because after all, any good "pizza bistro" knows that the happy and "hungry" clientele always come back. This mysterious "pizza bistro" was not shown in David's interview package though. Why is this? We saw Ramiele pouring soy sauce. We saw Brooke being a nanny. We saw Carly pouring beer. In fact, the other 11 contestants all had cute video of them going to school, working, and doing other things. Maybe "pizza bistros" do not allow cameras inside their facilities. You know... so the "secret recipe" doesn't get out. David is also proud to be from the same city as Jorbacca Sparks, and when he sings "She was just seventeen" as the first line in "I Saw Her Standing There," I had horrible flashbacks to last season. David performs terribly awful in a campy way, but it's not fun campy like Danny Noriega. It's lame campy like a closeted gay stripper. Even Paula couldn't compliment his performance, saying he overdid it. Simon calls it "corny verging on desperate." Maybe the "pizza bistro" man used "too much cheese."
Seeing as I said I wasn't going to talk about that and just spent half a page doing the exact opposite, here is my "real post":
That's going to leave a mark.D@mnit! ESPN changed their write up on this game, the previous write up talked all about this huuuuuuuuuuge Yanks/ Devil Rays rivalry. They mentioned this vast rivalry about 4 or 5 times. I guess the editor got a hold of it. I'm under the assumption that one team has to be decent at least once or twice in its existence to be involved in a rivalry...and decent doesn't come close to describing the Rays.
This is what I get for waiting to get home to blog. Serves me right for taking work seriously. Mark my word, next time I'm at the "pizza bistro" shaking my money maker and have an idea... you betcha I'll be barfing that idea straight out of my cerebellum.
This is what I get for waiting to get home to blog. Serves me right for taking work seriously. Mark my word, next time I'm at the "pizza bistro" shaking my money maker and have an idea... you betcha I'll be barfing that idea straight out of my cerebellum.
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