ad non-cents

Maybe you have noticed that I have incorporated some advertisements to this glorious web page (sell out). I struggled with the decision to go "corporate". I didn't want it to appear as if I was selling my soul to google and didn't want to offend the dozens of you who read. After many sleepless nights and chance encounters with Catholic Priests I made up my mind...

Who am I trying to kid? I had no idea this was an option. I mean, I can incorporate ads to the site, and if someone clicks on one, I get paid?! My first thought was, "Well, mini-me isn't going to get any cheaper, so a secondary form of income would be awesome.". My second thought was:

I'm going to be sooooo rich!

Well, let me break it down for you. I have no control over what ads are generated for the site. So lets say you're browsing low light years one morning and it's actually been updated. You have your pop tart in one hand, your mimosa in the other (we cater to high and low brow here at low light years) and you come across an ad for extra strength vagisil. You may think to yourself, "Oh that Erno!", and slap your knee. (carefully not to spill your mimosa) Well here's the little secret, I was not trying to be cute or funny...they just put it on the site. (although that would be hilarious)

But here's the great thing, the mere fact that I typed "extra strength vagisil" (twice now!)increases my odds of that ad appearing on the site. It somehow figures out what your site is about (good luck google) and caters the ads to it. That's why after posting my valentines/spring training and scrubs posts you might have noticed some ads for nursing and heart care.

Anyhow, back to me getting rich off this idea. Here's my latest statement:

For those with tiny monitors it says there have been 181 page visits, and one click on an ad for a total profit of six cents! By my calculations I should be breaking $1.oo in a year and a half. They don't even send you a check till $10, so that should arrive just in time to send the boy off to college. I'm sure that will be the cost of a pitcher by then.

You may be thinking, "Why don't you just get click happy and make yourself some mad scratch? You have previous experience. Yes, yes you do. Remember? You claim you single handedly vaulted Pearl Jam to the top request of the Bryce Jordan Center concert request a few years back." And if you're not thinking that, you may be thinking a variation of that. Well true believers, they have rules against this, and I'll lose the site if I break that agreement. I don't know how they know...I have a strong inkling there are google ninja's following my every move now... but they know. That goes for you too Dr. T. (How are you at blocking a throwing star with your bare hands?)

(or teeth)

So there's a little site background for you, and please, PLEASE, do not feel obligated to click anything unless you find yourself specifically interested in the ad. The ads aren't so much for you, the loyal readers, as much as they are for the poor sucker that happens to stumble across this mess of a blog. Those are the poor saps we're targeting. Suckers...