Holly Jolly Times

Thank you to those that occasionally stumble across this site. In return, I promise to occasionally stumble across the "new post" button.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Anyone heard any good Batman casting rumors?

Thank bejesus none of this is true. Eddie Murphy as Riddler? Barf.

I'll let WWTDD reiterate some facts:

Just … what? Okay, the reality is, and these are all facts, Nolan has not agreed to make a third Batman. He probably will but there’s no deal yet. There is no script, here is no story, there are no villains picked out. If he does he will make an unrelated movie, probably "the Prisoner", between now and then, as he did with "the Prestige" between "Batman Begins" and "Dark Knight". Most importantly, he has said in no uncertain terms, as has Bale, they hate Robin, and he will NEVER be a part of these movies.

Pretty sure once WB sees the above image, I'll be contacted immediately to be Bale's understudy. (and by understudy, I mean cod piece breaker inner)

(what? I'm sure that's "some one's" job.)

Snikt, snikt boys and girls

X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE HD

The Cheese rips ESPN's web editors

It may be ticky-tacky of me to point this out, but even I wouldn't do this and I'm just a stupid part-time pretend to know what I'm talking about blowhard:

ESPN needs to rip a thesaurus out.

Drop the links

Again, these helpful links are not for everyone. Just what I find interesting. Since if I've learned anything about the Christmas season, it's that it's all about me. Thanks for your understanding and support.

Get it? Support....

• NHL 09 ALTERNATE JERSEY CODE RELEASED Of course I lose my first game of the season wearing them.

• While were on the subject of NHL 09, this dude is hard core about updating rosters and creating classic teams. He has an informative page here and a page to download his updates here. It's been really fun to play with Neely, Espisito, Borque, Orr, Moog, and some other guys I wasn't too familiar with. Good stuff.
  

• Got to LOVE the Hot Stove League. Take a look at some of these moves!

- Mets get K-Rod- who I was hoping they wouldn't waste money on, but now I couldn't be more ecstatic. (until he blows his first save, in which I will automatically have Armando Benitez flashbacks)

- Yankees sign CC- couldn't be happier to get him out of the NL. But his weight has got to become an issue at some point right? He'll break down eventually. They all do. Ask Sid Fernandez.

- Mets in a 3-way for Putz- you're right. I deliberately wrote it that way to sound dirty. Putz and K-Rod...has to be an upgrade over the garden rake and the rubber hose that were in the bullpen last year.

- Phillies sign additional riot gear and trade for a swat team from Houston- Hehehehe...

• Bill Simmons makes an in studio appearance on Carolla:

Not sure who he's pictured with, but it's good to see the Sports Guy sporting a beard. Also, haven't listened to the appearance yet, but I'm sure it's golden. They did a Basic Cable Classic review of Rocky IV!

• Speaking of Carolla, if you haven't watched the video of Rowdy Roddy Piper choking out some guy at Jimmy Kimmel's during football Sunday as John Popper looks on, then you are missing a surreal moment.

• Not sure if I'm the only one that missed the latest gem from Andy Samberg and the guys from Lonely Island. (probably not a great one to watch with kids in the room or at work) Check this out:
  

I Got a Feeling

I haven't really attempted to write anything of much substance lately. One due to lack of time, and two due to lack of inspiration. But something has been bugging me this fall. (yeah, something besides the Mets bullpen) Something that I felt a pang of last year (still not the bullpen), but thought I'd get over. Not only have I not gotten over it. It's worse. And I thought it may have just been me. But it may be an EPIDEMIC! (based on a sampling size of two) What atrocity am I referring too?....



THE OVER SATURATION OF THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE!!!!

(insert ominous bass drum music)

Like the Roman Empire or the New York Yankees, I don't think too much of a good thing, is necessarily...well...good. I've been waxing and waning with my love of professional football for the better part of three years. Don't get me wrong, I still love the sport, but just am not Beyonce crazy in love with it. I'm not entirely sure where I lost that love and feeling (okay, I'll stop my Bermanisms), but I will spend the next hour (kind estimate) of your day sharing over baked hypotheses trying make sense of it.

ACT YOUR AGE

Theory #1 has me guessing what all guys hate to hear, that we're growing up. I remember in middle school, high school, college, into young adulthood being so excited for Sundays in the fall. I remember not caring if it was preseason, regular season, or the Bengals, it was the NFL and I was watching it. Maybe it's my latent sloth-like tendencies that appealed to a Young Cheese, just laying in front of a TV set eating snacks for 8-10 hours on Sundays. I watched it all. Pregame, post game, weekday specials, Quarterback Challenges, etc.

I believe it probably has a little to do with getting older, having more responsibilities and many, many more commitments. Wives, kids, family, friends, work, playstation...how do you prioritize?

(SIDE RANT) Now I can barely stand to watch most pregame and post game shows. It's more about who can yell the loudest, who can make the craziest statement, and who's 3D animated robots are more annoying...much less about substance. Everyone is just talking to talk. Making points to make a point, whether they believe it or not. I'd love if someone would keep track of every blowhard prediction and "bold statement" these talking heads make and compile a list of who is most credible. If you have a lower percentage than 80% correct, you're not allowed to be considered to have an "expert opinion" and therefore should be removed from the show. There are some good guys out there, they're just hard to hear when your up to your neck in b.s.(/END RANT)

***Bonus Features***
While looking for some you tube video's of Randall's Quarterback Challenge victories in 94 and 95, I came across these:

I'll save on the load time of the blog and just post some links of the rest:

• Byron Evans TD Dance
• R.I.P. Jerome
• Didn't find a Reggie White highlight package, but did find this strange Reggie White, Walter Payton and 2pac tribute, I mean...why not?

BIRDS OF A FEATHER...

..stink together. Of course I'm referring to the theory that as an Eagles fan, maybe I'm less interested due to the lackluster performance of the Birds the last couple years. I don't even know if you can call it lackluster...it's not like they're the Raiders. Just under performing and difficult to watch at times.

I'm not even sure if this is a real reason, I'm just acknowledging that the Eagles' suckitude may be a tiny part of my diminished experience, but not enough to put a damper on the entire NFL experience. I mean, the Eagles had their lean years during my childhood. Rich Kotite doesn't exude excellence if you know what I mean, and I was still building Eagles shrines during game day.

FINAL FANTASY

I've been playing fantasy football for over a decade and it's no secret that fantasy sports in general, let alone fantasy football, has exploded during that time. But even fantasy football (an activity that has long helped keep many Lions, Bengals and Raiders fans interested in the league past week 8) is losing it's luster for me. I'm trying not to look at things too nostalgic, but I loved the days when we would have to go buy a USA Today and scour the box scores to figure out our scores. It was essentially a Matt Damon movie waiting to happen, as we were part Will Hunting and part Mike McDermott.

Don't get me wrong, computer sites and technology have been a huge advancement for fantasy, as it has helped keep all my friends in the same league even though we're spread across the country...okay, mostly the state. But with the technological ease of playing, came the Moms, and Grandmas and every Tom, Dick and Harry with at least three teams each. It's everywhere, all the time and just tooooo easy. Nothing that easy is ever satisfying. That's why nudist colonies don't appeal to me that much. No one wants to see it all the time...we have the instinct for the chase....and the yearn for the challenge. We just don't want to have to wear horse blinders for fear of seeing Jermaine's twigs and berries for the 13th time today.

Fantasy frustration #2, I feel that it's become a crap shoot more than ever. All luck, little skill. I don't like gambling when I have little control. To keep with the gambling theme...If fantasy football was a casino game, it would be more closely related to spinning the money wheel then a game of poker. You just don't have as much control over your destiny. (and your odds of winning are even worse)

The Cheese feels like he'd be better off playing, "Pick a Number"

I feel this has a lot to do with the inconsistent play out of the players from year to year. I remember when guys used to be studs for more than an year or two at a time. Now guys are monsters one year, and you don't hear from them again.

I know I sound like the confused old man at the deli counter. "This pastrami used to be cut thinner! Why's there cheese infused salami? I dropped my teeth in the pickle jar."

Full disclosure, I may be a little burnt out on fantasy football. I've been managing no less than three teams for quite a while now. It's difficult to keep track of, and you're always rooting for and against the same players. Also, it's a big investment. Not only in money, as friends keep trying to up the ante annually, but it's also a sizable investment in time. And the investment in time, probably correlates with the "growing up" angle too. I never seem to have enough anymore. If you look at all the time, effort and money you put into a typical fantasy season, what is the potential payout for your troubles if you break it down to an hourly rate? I bet it's well under $2/hour. And how does that make you feel, when the guy that hasn't made any moves and let his girlfriend draft his team is dominating your league?

I don't want it to sound like I'd like to play for m&m's either (or would I? hmmmm)...I don't think a league should be free. I'm dominating a free league this year and have little to no interest in my team. No one has even made a post on the league site since early October, and there may be five posts in all. It appears I'm not alone in my apathy.

So what can I do to bring myself back into the fantasy fold? I'm cutting back to one league next year to see how it goes, and I'm going to try to remember my initial reasons for loving fantasy football:

1. To talk trash to your buddies
2. To have fun watching the sport of football instead of being worried that so and so isn't catching enough passes or breaking enough tackles

Although, I'm sure the best cure for this would be a 10-3 season, and a $300 payout.

Your Cheatin’ Heart

Perhaps there's another sport that starts in Mid-October (which is too early and another article for another day) that is taking some of my interest away from the NFL. Those of you who know me, or who charitably undertake sifting through the rubbage that is this site on a monthly basis know what I'm talking about.

Of course I'm talking about the mighty puck. The NHL messed up bad a few years back and lost over a seasons worth of fans. Now it's under publicized, hard to find and a notch above co-ed extreme badminton as far as popularity in professional sports. And maybe that appeals to me. That I need to work a little to find it. It's not spewed all over the place and cross promoted to death. Or for an extreme example; it's that much more rewarding to find something that you like on your own instead of a barrage of advertisements telling you that you should like something. (not that the NHL wouldn't do what the NFL does if it could) (make sense?)

All that said, I'm enjoying a mini-renaissance over in the NHL and maybe that's taking away some of my time, enthusiasm and passion for the NFL.

INTERMISSION
Just kidding, insert your own flicking the lights in the lobby joke and head back to your seats.

WAIT, AM I DUMBER FOR HAVING JUST SAT THROUGH ALL THIS
Well...duh. Look what blog you're reading. What did you expect? Moby Dick?

I suppose, the moral of the story is probably a combination of everything I stream of conscioused onto this page. I wish I had an iPhone, so that I could make an iPhone application like that one that helps you figure out where to go eat. I'd put all my hypothesis and ideas in it and shake it around to give me a potential answer. Of course my luck it would come out looking like this:

The Cheese is losing interest in the NFL because....(shaking iPhone)....

He's just not crazy in love looking at Jermaine's twigs and berries while buying USA Today's and talking trash with a puck loving cheese infused Moby Dick.

...well, that probably made just about as much sense as I did anyhow.

Looch

Sorry, don't want to turn this blog into hockeyfights.com, but I can't resist putting up this drubbing Milan Lucic gave Mike Komisarek the other night. The fact that Komisarek plays for Montreal might have inspired me as well.

Mercy Rule?

Hopped on the Fantasy Hockey web page to check out the league this afternoon. Noticed that the Capitals/ Ducks game already had a score. Something caught my eye. The score was...lets just call it a little lopsided.

I promise you, I have not altered this.

I have Ovechkin on my team...keeping fingers crossed for at least a hat-trick.

Todays Post: Brought to you by the Color...Orange

For Flyers fans...or just fans of nostalgia:

I think I maced a crane, Michael

Get your "R" horns ready...Jeffrey Tambor says, "unequivocally 'Arrested Development' movie is happening. Get your hopes up!"

I'm so excited, I can barely type/think/pee standing up/etc.

David Cross has also confirmed receiving a call from Mitch Hurwitz about doing the movie.

If I had one of these, there's 100% chance that I'd be spinning donuts in the front yard right now. If you haven't gotten into this show yet I will do my civic duty and bear hug you in front of a tv until you watch all 3 seasons. After the pilot episode, I bet I will only have to hug out of joy instead of furry restraint.

Taste the happy indeed.

had an itch

that I needed to scratch...haven't posted a good hockey fight in a few months:

There's a first for everything

I was wrong.

I thought that most of the fans pouring into downtown Philadelphia after the World Series clinching win were happy drunks. Turns out, some were firetruck taking over, car tipping, bottle throwing lunatics. First John Daly, now this. When will I stop being surprised by the news?!

Proof:










And you can see video of the bus station collapse here.

Where can I bet on things like this?

What is most surprising about this story?

a.) John Daly was drunk

b.) John Daly was unconscious

c.) John Daly was taken into custody

d.) John Daly was at Hooters when this all went down

e.) John Daly is still alive?

f.) I'm wearing size 28 jeans as I'm typing this

Philadelphia...you're welcome

Spoiler alert in case you've been spelunking the last 12 hours...

The Phillies have won the World Series...and I think I deserve a ring as well as my own float in the parade. Why? Not because I'm a Phillies fan...puke...not even close. I stupidly used my incredible jinxing powers.

"With Great Power, Comes Great Responsibility"

Doh!

Not only did I single handily set the World Series match up with posts like this (go to second to last paragraph) and this, but I essentially predicted the winner with this gem. Further cementing their first Championship in 28 years was the mere fact that I kept this all to myself and did not post it, email it, or speak of it to a sole.

I expected mass rioting in Philly, but from the early reports I read, fans were just happy, not destructive.

Although my cell phone had some conflicting reports. Here are some text messages from an anonymous Philly Fan. They will remain anonymous so that I do not have to hand over my cell phone as evidence in some insurance fraud case. Those in the know can do the math.

Anonymous Philly Fan: (Oct. 30, 2008 12:43 AM)- Can't overturn my car. Will keep trying.

Anonymous Philly Fan: (Oct. 30, 2008 12:46 AM)- Can't flip it. :)

Anonymous Philly Fan: (Oct. 30, 2008 12:48 AM)- Guess I will light it on fire.

He's now either performing some complex medical diagnosis or is incarcerated. Either way he's probably fine with it. Congratulations to all you Phans. I think you'll easily repeat next year.

(ahh...see what I did there?!)

Christians and Irony, Not the Best of Friends

A group of christians got together to pray for the ecomony. Where? Here. 

A Good Weekend to be Mad

If you're a fan of Madmen like I am (and I'm a fairly recent fan), then this was a great weekend for you. Unfortunately my tiny vocabulary and limited understanding of the English language will prevent me from truly praising this show in the manner that it deserves.

First you have Emmy Award winning and all around terrific actor Jon Hamm hosting SNL. Plenty of Madmen love, which was nice to see, and a little surprising due to the fact that this is a show hidden on American Movie Classic. Not sure how the skits would go over to those who don't watch. My two cents says, this was the best Madmen related skit.

Even in the non-MM related skits, he held his own and in my very biased opinion, I feel he has a nose for comedy. (i.e. Jon Hamm's John Ham...literally potty humor)

Then you had the terrific season 2 finale last night. I won't spoil those who plan on joining the party late. (It has Tom Hanks kid in it! Who doesn't love some Hanks family acting?!) Just one of those great shows with some meat and substance that you can't wait to dissect and theorize. I can't recommend immediately renting season 1 fast enough. You will breeze through the 13 episodes, and finally understand why Bill Simmons has it hot for the red-headed secretary.

Finally some fun news that the AP revealed today. This Sunday's Simpson's Tree House of Horror opening will be a spoof of the Madmen opening credits. (One of the best openings sequences in recent memory.)

Right now I'm humming the theme in my head...ok, maybe outloud in my office. No one seems to mind. No one pays much attention to me anyhow. I wonder if anyone would notice if I'm wearing pants or not?

The point being, I'd like that theme song as a ring tone. Is that too much to ask?

Multiple Choice

There was a lot of talk about a "C"-Ring during Fox's World Series coverage last night. The "C"-Ring they were referring to was:

(a)- The low lying dark cloud ring that is hovering above Wrigley Field, as the Cubs dry spell woefully continues.

(b)- The jeweled Philly Phanatic piercing that Jason Werth got in a very sensitive area.

(c)- Some ridiculous Shoots and Ladders like architecture incorporated into Tropicana Field.
(d)- My precious.

ssssssssssshocking....

Thank god I was sitting down when this happened. Tyler Perry must have spilled some Cristal on one of the control room boards down in Atlanta. At least their slogan is not misleading as it relates to being taken seriously when telecasting live sporting events.

drop the links

Somethings that caught my watery, head cold suffering eyes:

- Someone should save this for future irony for when he's locked up

- Speaking of irony...shouldn't we be able to purchase this for free?

- The NHL's regular season starts (on this continent) tomorrow. The Bruin's are actually on "national TV" already!

- Hehehehe.... speaking of hockey.

- Also starting tomorrow night, Game 1 of the NLCS. I'd make my predictions on both American League and National League Championship Series, but don't want to jinx the people I know that still have teams in the hunt.

- And to leave on a high note: Bristol...Jamie Lynn says "Check Mate" (emphasis on 'mate')

Suggested Reading

As I'm still dealing with terrible Mets and Eagles losses from the past weekend, I stumbled upon one of the better written stories I've ever read on ESPN.com. Sure, I'm biased, but the story holds up even if you're not a Mets fan.

Shea Goodbye

well, that was fun

Struggling Mets Combine To Form Carlos Voltron

NEW YORK—Facing the Cubs in the midst of a three-game losing streak, the desperate Mets sprinted out to the field Tuesday, launched themselves high into the air above Shea Stadium, and combined their bodies to form a 400-foot tall fielding robot called Carlos Voltron.

Read More.

Bartman was his second choice

So when Ernie Banks asks you to create a song about the Cubs, I guess it's a no brainer.

Ed Vedder- All the Way (live).mp3

Via the PJ website:

At the request of Ernie Banks, Eddie threw together a song for the Cubs ("All the Way"). He got a pretty good live version of it at the Auditorium Theatre in Chicago this August. It's now being played on Chicago radio and at the Bleacher Bars around Wrigleyville. We have decided to make the song available for download - you can get it here in the next few days. There's a chance we'll also make available some hard copy CDs and we're looking into souvenir 45 singles, as well. Check back here for the latest.

Makes me wish Ed was a Mets fan. I'd love to hear him sing the WFAN Met's jingle.

If you want to destroy my sweater...

The NHL went to these god awful RBK Edge jerseys last year, which consisted of some horrific redesigns and ventured away from the tradition of your typical hockey sweater.

It was a bone headed move. Ultmately are they going to turn someone on to the mighty puck by having players look like they're playing in glorified pajama tops?

Well, they may be rectifying some of their transgressions by coming out with some sweet alternate jerseys for the 2009 season. Take a look at some of these concepts:









Love the old school looks of the Bruins, Flyers, Sabres, Black Hawks, Oilers, Canucks, and even the hated Penguins look pretty cool.

For some reason, I'm crazy excited for the NHL this year, so you'll have to excuse my limited audience interest post. If you need me, I'll be brainstorming of ways to trick convince MLW that the Center Ice Package is a must.

An idea twenty some years in the making...

Hey...did some of my friends "accidentally" get permission to green light a cartoon?

Check this out:

Spaceballs: The Animated Series

Keep firing a**holes!

Cooking with Karl

Karl Rove has stated that John McCain has gone 'Too Far' in his ads. (sound the irony alarms)





I suppose crapping on a dude's purple heart is just far enough.

Summer Hiatus

So MLW is all up in my grill about updating LLY. She doesn't seem to think the google generated ad's for sexual abuse or clergy misconduct speak well of my site. I'd blame Tom Servo, but don't think I could handle any more pie charts. (pie on the other hand...yeah, I'd be okay with that.)

Shocking.

So, what's been going on in the world?


....


Give me a second...

Hmmm...

Oh right.

The Republican Party reaffirms my suspicion that they are being run by drunk frat boys by appointing Sarah Palin to run as McCain's Vice President.


Their answer to the "Next Abraham Lincoln" is "Baberaham Lincoln".

SCHWING!

Coming soon* a recap of the summer games, and perhaps a Fall TV review.



* see you in November suckers.

running I could get behind

I recently took some flak from various unnamed sources that may or may not be the wife of someone in regards to my minor dislike of running. In fact I don't think it would be a stretch to call it a "pithy, minor dislike of running".

Well, I stumbled across a run even I couldn't thumb my nose at. If you haven't guessed what I'm talking about yet (what the H is wrong with you?), I'm referring to the tri-annual UCLA Undie Run. Thousands show up to celebrate the end of the quarter in style...well, if not in style, definitely in their underpants.

Look at the terrible job these officers have to do. Shielding their eyes at the pale, unattractive co-eds running around in their baggy, unfitting undergarments...oh right, this is UCLA, you're not admitted unless you've already done no less then five FHM, Stuff, or Maxim spreads. Honestly, how many of these guys were telling their wives that they're on "special assignment" that night and to not wait up?

All joking aside, I don't see what the big deal is. I go on an underpants run through the house the second I get home from work.

What am I looking at?

If the 80s are a vague haze for you, you may ask, what am I looking at? You are looking at pants that, if they were a car, would have a special license plate denoting their classicness. Yes, whitewashed denim.

While you can't seem them cuz my model was uncooperative, the best part is the seams that go down the butt cheek. Somebody wore these to work. Who said state workers can't dress?

Gut Feeling Movie Reviews

Meet Dave

Little known fact: This movie's working title was, "Eddie Murphy's next pile of feces". Honestly, what happened to Eddie Murphy? He was funny...right? I mean, was everyone on that much coke in the 80's? I don't think I was on coke...unless you count over sweetened Kool-Aid as a form kiddie coke (which would explain the ever present green powder under my nose)...and I seemed to remember liking his stand up special, "Raw". Too bad we can't all take some sort of magic roofie and make us forget about the last 20 years of his career.


I'm going to switch gears and do one sentence reviews, because I believe there's a movie that needs some promotion coming up later in this segment.

Mama Mia

Craptastic. You'll feel lighter in your pants after watching this.

Space Chimps

A hundred times more enjoyable than Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys

The Dark Knight

Here's a little independent movie that I'm very much excited for. It's got little to no publicity at this point and I'm worried that it won't be in a theater near me. I really hope the studio gets behind this little flick and gives it one last push before it opens on Friday. It's low budget, lacking big name stars, and absolutely has no other buzz that may bring curious movie goers to the theaters. I'm not expecting anything special, but I wouldn't miss it for the world.

2 1/2 games

I thought we could take a break from our scheduled inside joke posting and post something much, much, much more important. I've been waiting for an excuse to add this picture to my little nook of the interweb for some time. Unfortunately the Mets weren't exactly providing me with the backdrop to post said picture. Fortunately the Mets spotted themselves 10 runs before allowing the Phils to score 9 themselves. Unfortunately, I do not have an excellent track record in taunting and fear the Mets will now go on a twelve game losing streak.

Don't worry Phils fans, the site where I "borrowed" this picture has a not so flattering Mr. Met image for you to use later in the season (or as a painful reminder of last season). He has some pretty cool art in this cartoon style on his page, so check it out when you get a chance.

...

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!!!

The only mature way to respond to threats of violence? Name Calling.

Digs Anatomy...the Cheese's Response

{crickets chirping}
[see footnote 1]
[see footnote 2]

Footnotes

[1]
[2]

+

=

Anatomy of a Dig

At the request of The Cheese, I've put together a handy little outline that should help the less fortunate among us understand when they are being made fun of. All digs are bolded and italicized for those of you that have a hard time identifying them.

1. Definitions (from the American Heritage Dictionary and other sources)
   
1. dig - A sarcastic, taunting remark; a gibe.
2. diggor - The perpetrator of a sarcastic, taunting remark who makes fun of others to help him feel good about himself. When portrayed in flowcharts, typically colored red.
   
3. diggee - The target of a sarcastic, taunting remark. When portrayed in flowcharts, typically colored yellow.
   
4. innocent bystander - A person who has witnessed a smackdown [see footnote 1] by way of a sarcastic, taunting remark. Sometimes this person, by way of proximity to the diggee, becomes an unwitting diggee in round two. When portrayed in flowcharts, typically portrayed in green.
2. Context
1. The dig in question occurred on Facebook. In fact, this is a two part dig. The Cheese's LW remarked that she would help me with my flair but that she charges by the hour.
   
3. The First Dig
1. Lauren noted that LW charges by the hour for "many things . . . ."[see footnote 2]
   
4. The Second Dig
1. I noted that I had to take out a loan just to qualify as a friend of the Ernos, but, thankfully, The Cheese is value priced.[see footnote 3] 
   
5. Flowchart/Diagram
   You will note that The Cheese's color is changing from green to yellow because he was a innocent bystander before he was the joint victim of the second, tagteam dig.
   
   Footnotes
   [1]
   

   [2] Like a prostitute.

   [3] Like Patty the Daytime Prostitute.