Gut Feeling Movie Reviews: Oscar Edition

That's right, our favorite (only) running segment has returned. This time I'll be reviewing the five Best Picture nominations. As luck (life) would have it, I have not seen any these fine (above average) films.

THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON

There is some worry that this film will not break even. I think they would have made the dough they wanted and not ruined their "artistic integrity" if they tweaked it by calling it "The Curious Case of Benjamin Butt-Head". You have to admit, a cameo by the great Cornholio would have been tremendous.

For those doing the math at home, Brad Pitt with no shirt is less than a crudely drawn cartoon from the 90's laden with 6th grade humor.

FROST/NIXON

I feel like I've already seen this movie. I believe it was called, "Point Break".

MILK

Was a bad choice...

THE READER

What an exciting title! I'm sure they didn't want to oversell this bad-boy. I would have called this, "Hot Librarians on Roller Skates". I can't promise you it has anything to do with libraries or books...or even roller skates, but it's going to grab the attention of your average meat-head a little faster than what it's got going for it now.

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

Spoiler alert...Regis isn't anywhere in this movie. Plenty of people have tried to get refunds after this heartbreaking revelation. They feel they were cheated from his quick wit and zany anecdotes. Otherwise, it's been called, "This years 'Little Miss Sunshine', only a little more ethnic and a lot less Steve Carell".

Kobe could have used these in Colorado

I found this to be amusing, and I haven't seen it on TV. Although I don't watch basketball and am not enamored with Kobe, so yeah...full disclosure, yada, yada, yada...

oh hey...fancy seeing you here

So yeah...lowlightyears has been on what were just going to call a "winter break". Well schools back in session and I've been cramming for my ultimate frisbee mid-term.*

*I don't even know what I mean by that. (all I know is it makes more sense the Seacrest trying to high five the blind guy on idol the other night)

BABY IT'S COLD OUT SIDE

Seriously, it's freezing out. Literally. If there's a silver lining to this cool, crisp, Canadian air, it's that many of my favorite shows have found there way back to my living room. (via the magic of digital TV) Which reminds me...

{public service announcement}REMEMBER RABBIT EAR USERS, YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE F'd in FEBRUARY, AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY. PLEASE JOIN US IN THE 21st CENTURY{/public service announcement}

Potential post on these shows at a later date. (I try not to make promises on here anymore...I'm way too unreliable to keep this current, or even semi-current)

IF NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS, THEN GOOD NEWS IS WHAT?

This past week was the winter press tour for networks to trot out news about current shows, pilots and show cancellations. Here are a few personal highlights:

• NBC gave us a look at the pilot script, a mockumentary in which Amy Poehler and Aziz Ansari play a mid-level bureaucrats in a parks and recreation department in a small town in Indiana, and Rashida Jones plays a local woman pressing them to put together a new public works project in an open pit next to her apartment building. (My input- A Rec. Dept? I never knew such a job existed. Wonder if they're like forrest rangers? Or better yet, army rangers...hopefully not Power Rangers. It's probably just one big epsisode of Yogi Bear.)

"Come back with my pic-inic basket!!"

• In the most exciting development of the day, "The Office" has cast Idris Elba -- aka Stringer Bell from "The Wire" -- as Michael's new rival from Dunder-Mifflin corporate. (SWEEEEEEET)
  
• Mad Men creator Matthew Weiner on his contract negoations with AMC and the possibility of season three starting on time, "I wish I had something to tell you," he said. "It will be decided, one way or the other, very soon. And I had an amazing year, and I love doing the show."

• Oh yeah, Fox cancelled Prison Break as well. I don't watch it, but hopefully they found their way out of prison by now.