running I could get behind

I recently took some flak from various unnamed sources that may or may not be the wife of someone in regards to my minor dislike of running. In fact I don't think it would be a stretch to call it a "pithy, minor dislike of running".

Well, I stumbled across a run even I couldn't thumb my nose at. If you haven't guessed what I'm talking about yet (what the H is wrong with you?), I'm referring to the tri-annual UCLA Undie Run. Thousands show up to celebrate the end of the quarter in style...well, if not in style, definitely in their underpants.

Look at the terrible job these officers have to do. Shielding their eyes at the pale, unattractive co-eds running around in their baggy, unfitting undergarments...oh right, this is UCLA, you're not admitted unless you've already done no less then five FHM, Stuff, or Maxim spreads. Honestly, how many of these guys were telling their wives that they're on "special assignment" that night and to not wait up?

All joking aside, I don't see what the big deal is. I go on an underpants run through the house the second I get home from work.

What am I looking at?

If the 80s are a vague haze for you, you may ask, what am I looking at? You are looking at pants that, if they were a car, would have a special license plate denoting their classicness. Yes, whitewashed denim.

While you can't seem them cuz my model was uncooperative, the best part is the seams that go down the butt cheek. Somebody wore these to work. Who said state workers can't dress?

Gut Feeling Movie Reviews

Meet Dave

Little known fact: This movie's working title was, "Eddie Murphy's next pile of feces". Honestly, what happened to Eddie Murphy? He was funny...right? I mean, was everyone on that much coke in the 80's? I don't think I was on coke...unless you count over sweetened Kool-Aid as a form kiddie coke (which would explain the ever present green powder under my nose)...and I seemed to remember liking his stand up special, "Raw". Too bad we can't all take some sort of magic roofie and make us forget about the last 20 years of his career.


I'm going to switch gears and do one sentence reviews, because I believe there's a movie that needs some promotion coming up later in this segment.

Mama Mia

Craptastic. You'll feel lighter in your pants after watching this.

Space Chimps

A hundred times more enjoyable than Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys

The Dark Knight

Here's a little independent movie that I'm very much excited for. It's got little to no publicity at this point and I'm worried that it won't be in a theater near me. I really hope the studio gets behind this little flick and gives it one last push before it opens on Friday. It's low budget, lacking big name stars, and absolutely has no other buzz that may bring curious movie goers to the theaters. I'm not expecting anything special, but I wouldn't miss it for the world.

2 1/2 games

I thought we could take a break from our scheduled inside joke posting and post something much, much, much more important. I've been waiting for an excuse to add this picture to my little nook of the interweb for some time. Unfortunately the Mets weren't exactly providing me with the backdrop to post said picture. Fortunately the Mets spotted themselves 10 runs before allowing the Phils to score 9 themselves. Unfortunately, I do not have an excellent track record in taunting and fear the Mets will now go on a twelve game losing streak.

Don't worry Phils fans, the site where I "borrowed" this picture has a not so flattering Mr. Met image for you to use later in the season (or as a painful reminder of last season). He has some pretty cool art in this cartoon style on his page, so check it out when you get a chance.

...

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!!!

The only mature way to respond to threats of violence? Name Calling.

Digs Anatomy...the Cheese's Response

{crickets chirping}
[see footnote 1]
[see footnote 2]

Footnotes

[1]
[2]

+

=

Anatomy of a Dig

At the request of The Cheese, I've put together a handy little outline that should help the less fortunate among us understand when they are being made fun of. All digs are bolded and italicized for those of you that have a hard time identifying them.

1. Definitions (from the American Heritage Dictionary and other sources)
   
1. dig - A sarcastic, taunting remark; a gibe.
2. diggor - The perpetrator of a sarcastic, taunting remark who makes fun of others to help him feel good about himself. When portrayed in flowcharts, typically colored red.
   
3. diggee - The target of a sarcastic, taunting remark. When portrayed in flowcharts, typically colored yellow.
   
4. innocent bystander - A person who has witnessed a smackdown [see footnote 1] by way of a sarcastic, taunting remark. Sometimes this person, by way of proximity to the diggee, becomes an unwitting diggee in round two. When portrayed in flowcharts, typically portrayed in green.
2. Context
1. The dig in question occurred on Facebook. In fact, this is a two part dig. The Cheese's LW remarked that she would help me with my flair but that she charges by the hour.
   
3. The First Dig
1. Lauren noted that LW charges by the hour for "many things . . . ."[see footnote 2]
   
4. The Second Dig
1. I noted that I had to take out a loan just to qualify as a friend of the Ernos, but, thankfully, The Cheese is value priced.[see footnote 3] 
   
5. Flowchart/Diagram
   You will note that The Cheese's color is changing from green to yellow because he was a innocent bystander before he was the joint victim of the second, tagteam dig.
   
   Footnotes
   [1]
   

   [2] Like a prostitute.

   [3] Like Patty the Daytime Prostitute.